up one level
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2016-04-23

w̶i̶e̶l̶d̶l̶i̶n̶u̶x̶.̶c̶o̶m̶

It’s Important for a Software Development and Support Engineer to Recognize Indirect and Direct Communicators and Thereupon to Over-communicate Back to Them

Through past SDASE (Software Development and Support Engineer) experince, I’ve been in a postion where a co-worker directly told me what they needed me to do better. I remember having felt some kind of resentment and been upset that they had been so blunt with me. I’ve also before been in a position where a co-worker indirectly implied that I wasn’t working hard enough. I had to figure out myself through reflection afterwards on what they had said and how they had said it. I remember having felt some sort of resentment and been that they had been so indirect and hadn’t confronted me and hadn’t explicitly told me what they thought of my performance.

First, let me say that anyone reading this at this point must think I’m a terrible worker. I’m working on it! But that’s not the point; the point is how I can do better to handle when I’m criticized.

What’s the take-away on this?

I need to find a better balance wherein I over-communicate in *both* of the above cases.

As a Software Development and Suppor2016-t Engineer, in the above-described former scenario, I need to over-communicate by confronting the person and telling them that I think they’re directly telling me that I’m not working hard enough, telling them that I think that they’re being direct about telling me about it so that everyone’s clear, telling them that I won’t take it personally but rather I’ll take it professionally, telling them what I think and feel about it, telling them what I’m going to do about it, and then I need to solicit their response. (to listen)

In the above-described latter scenario, I need to over-communicate by confronting the person and telling them that I think they mean that I’m not working hard enough, telling them that I think they’re being polite by not telling me that directly, telling them what I think and feel about that, telling them what I’m going to do about that, and then I need to solicit their response. (to listen)

So to recap, for a Software Development and Support Engineer, it’s important to be able to recognize and to be able to over-communicate with different styles of communicators people who indirectly indicate what they need from me vs. people who directly tell me what they need. No matter which style the other person uses to communicate to me, It’s best for me to respond by over-communicating directly back to them.


Edit: This post was previously published at: w̶i̶e̶l̶d̶l̶i̶n̶u̶x̶.̶c̶o̶m̶/2016-04-23-direct-indirect-confront-overcommunicate.php
[2019 edit: Moved to: https://i̶n̶v̶e̶s̶t̶o̶r̶w̶o̶r̶k̶e̶r̶.̶c̶o̶m̶/2016/... .html.]